Forgive me, for I have sinned, it's been 2 days since my last confession....
Up until yesterday my variable diet of vegetables, slimfast, ryvita, cottage cheese and low fat dinners had been going very well. I had been drinking lots of water too and did not feel deprived but lighter more energetic and rather smug. I even managed to have fajitas but replaced half the chicken with salad and the cheese and sour cream with cottage cheese. Not as fattening but still enjoyable and without the feeling of deprivation.
I reached my first stumbling block yesterday, a bad day at work (made a mistake which i beat myself up about all day) plus PMT and boredom. It was a lethal combination. I started off cooking some brocolli, mushrooms and rice with some curry powder and seasoning for a low fat dinner. Sounds rather holy doesn't it?. But I wasn't done. I ate a huge portion and still felt the need to eat more, the problem being that there was nothing really left in the house. Writing this now I realise I wasn't feeding my stomach but trying to eat myself out of a bad mood.
I put a whole garlic bread in the oven (the only product available with the required wheat and fat ratio) and muched through it in under 5 minutes, it was like being in a trance , a food induced trance. Was Derren Brown playing a trick on me? If he was he also made me eat 2 bags of crisps without me realising as well - that man's a genius.
I now realised I have suffered what is commonly known as a 'Binge'. This has got me thinking that can a binge be predicted scientifically and why does it cause a grandiose almost catholic soul-damning guilt?
I thought I would do some research,.... Dr.Devillenoire is in the house...she's alliiiiiive!!!
The Anatomy of a Binge:
So far we have the catalysts:
Plus other stress factors that may occur; tiredness, dehydration and loneliness.
Aim: To blindly much through as much food as possible, short term brain elation and distraction.
Method: Hand and mouth shovel movement
Apparatus: anything vaguely edible, mainly carbohydrates
Conclusion: Stuffed bloating feeling, regret.
I searched the web and found countless sites and links, so this is very common. If I am to win I need to know my enemy and beat it. This is a good one on bingeing or emotional eating as it is also known, there is some flowery language but the message is savvy:
Today there is a difference however to other 'Binge hangovers' I have had before. I feel positive.
Yesterday was a blimp, er i mean blip on the journey but it's a voyage of self -discovery. The next time i feel the need for a binge I have come up with some defenses - beauty pampering, just going out so not near a fridge, exercsing and if all else fails there's always crack (no calories yet still so morish). Haha!!!