Just lay back and don't think of cake....
Ah it's good to be blogging again, have had rather an excellent week on the quest for a more defined silhouette.
So 12 days in and 84 days to go!!! Normally by now the little diet terrorist in my head is saying - you are feeling better and done so well , you must at least be a size 12 now - go have some wine and cake treat yourself! Dance and revel with Bacchus and his minions!!! (so dramatic but true!) then I would wake up in a food and wine induced hangover wondering what happened...but not this time...
I have avoided any binges and done some soul searching. Do not worry however I won't be lighting some Zen scented candles and listening to pan-pipes anytime soon but it is true that what you eat is directly connected to your emotions. That's according to my therapist (or 'terrapin' as my phone predictive text it yesterday). Yes I am having a couple of counselling sessions I have to admit it - nothing serious- I just want to sort a few things out in my head - I think its healthy to do so and also slightly Californian which make me feel a little glamorous.
I had to giggle when my therapist (or Clive as he shall be known) said 'So why are you here?' I wanted to blurt out 'Make me a size 10 please!', but I did ask him about weight and how I could understand my eating habits. Although this seems very shallow indeed, emotions, the past and our experiences do affect the way we eat - it's not always about when we are hungry or thirsty - if only that was the case - Roseanne would never have been aired for sure.
There was a lot of talk (mainly me acting like the guy in trainspotting on speed) and I even cried once! I walked out of the sessions feeling lighter. I definitely had left some emotional baggage in there which felt very good indeed. Good ol' Clive - you're hired!
I am shallow and vain I admit it and slightly enjoy the fact too. However there are practical sides to losing weight that unless you've been there you really don't understand. Yesterday i had an experience which although not uncommon left me feeling less than attractive.....the loose tight fat fight!!!!
The Loose Tights Fat Fight!
Tights losing their elastic to a fat person is like kryptonite to Superman - it saps our strength and dignity. (Ok that and the superman movie about nuclear weapons which whiffed to high heaven). If you have a tummy and rounded thighs, tights - with a good structure are great for smoothing the silhouette - just ask Gok. They also have a comfort blanket effect on the psyche. Well sometimes....
There I was on my way home on Friday night, heavy coat over arm as twas a lovely summery eve. (I realise I am going all Hans Christian Anderson but keep with me)I had just bought some provisions for dinner with Phil and was walking home when it happened, out of nowhere my tights, which were above my stomach, rolled down under my rounded belly! Now I felt as if the whole world could see my paunch and not only that but the gusset had decided to droop. I had my hands full of shopping and my coat and shoulder bag. I suddenly felt like a pregnant buckaroo!
In broad daylight, I did a move as what is commonly known as the shoulder bag swing and hoist! Ah back to normal - but no! they rolled down again and even lower! My discomfort was clear and I started walking strangely whilst trying to balance what I was holding and try and find the edge of the rolled tights to hoist again like a net over a baby seal. I can only imagine that I looked like a combination of Rainman and an extra from Glee. The sun was hot, damn hot and by the time I arrived home my hair was dishevelled, my skirt had ridden up to my side with the shopping bag and I felt a mess...
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